Secretive about dating

You could say it’s disgusting but not illegal—it just perpetuates a culture that keeps women down.”To be clear, there is a wide range of parties for experimental sexual behavior.

Some, devoted entirely to sex, may be drug- and alcohol-free (to encourage safety and performance) and demand a balanced gender ratio.

Others are very heavy on drugs and women and usually end in group “cuddle puddles,” a gateway to ever-so-slightly more discreet sexual encounters.

Men show up only if directly invited by the host, and they can often bring as many women as they want, but guys can’t come along as plus-ones.

Besides, there’s no need to spell things out; the guests on the list understand just what kind of party this is.

Women too will spread the word among their female friends, and the expectations are hardly hidden.

The theme is bondage,’ ” one female entrepreneur told me. Still, the vast majority of people in Silicon Valley have no idea these kinds of sex parties are happening at all.At these kinds of party, there are tons of them.”I believe there is a critical story to tell about how the women who participate in these events are often marginalized, even if they attend of their own volition.One female investor who had heard of these parties before I approached her told me, “Women are participating in this culture to improve their lives.They are an underclass in Silicon Valley.” A male investor who works for one of the most powerful men in tech put it this way: “I see a lot of men leading people on, sleeping with a dozen women at the same time.But if each of the dozen women doesn’t care, is there any crime committed?

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The stories I’ve been told by nearly two dozen people who have attended these events or have intimate knowledge of them are remarkable in a number of ways.

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