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A major fear is being lied to deceived which brings me to the main question of this article: Why do men lie? I’m talking about human nature – no one gender is more or less habitually a “liar”.OK, now I want to step back because I can imagine that my points may have enraged certain readers, who are ready to comment with things like, “Why should we have to reward his dumb ass for not lying? You know all sorts of women who lie to their female friends on occasion… You stop enjoying the relationship for what it is and start craving validation and confirmation that it’s “the real deal.” And there’s only one thing that manifests from that place… QUIZ: Are You Accidentally Destroying Your Love Life?These days, people are quick to throw the concept of neediness around without actually looking at what it is.
I was recently traveling in the Highlands of New Guinea, and I was talking with a man who had three wives.
I find the vast, vast, vast majority of men unattractive.
Mostly it’s that I don’t have any physical attraction to them, but once in a while (about twice a year if I’m on a lot of dating sites, or once every few years if I’m not), I’ll meet someone I actually think is good looking (a hint here is that I find most celebrities physically unattractive, apparently my sex drive is picky but I couldn’t tell you why – although I DO have a high sex drive…).
However, I’m also aware having been through a lot of therapy after numerous and significant mental health difficulties (eating disorders etc.) that I tend to date cold or unavailable men and then not ask for more and maintain that emotional distance – essentially, I seem to have been in a habit of avoiding intimacy by going out with people I don’t find attractive, or more often than I’d like to admit, men who I know are gay before I even ask them out…otherwise they’re narcissistic or give mixed messages, or aren’t close in some way etc.
Knowing that I have that pattern, I made a promise to myself to pick up on coldness whenever I find someone attractive and to walk away.