Integrity in dating
If he grants himself permission to lie about one thing, one time — then, by implication, the permission exists all the time.
Perhaps you’ll get lucky and there will only be a few white lies, here and there, over things which are not that important to you. People who feel comfortable with telling white lies, here and there, become desensitized to lying.
We promise to put the needs of others before our own, and love each other until death. We come up short, and fall out of integrity with ourselves and those we love.
It is important to note that at some point or another, we all falter on these commitments. There is a difference, however, between the couples who recover and thrive when these circumstances arise, and those who allow these situations erode and destroy their love.
A year ago, I set out on a quest to discover what true love looked like.
My journey has taken me from coast to coast, and placed me at the feet of some of the world’s foremost experts on love, both in study and in practice.
Yet there are so many people who know these things, but don’t have a relationship like Mei Mei and Kiran’s. Most relationships suffer because of a lack of integrity.
Gottman’s research, and in his book You can read more about my story here.Make the decision to fix that now by first, taking ownership of how you’ve lacked integrity, then making the commitment to do better and be better.This is the true source of deep love, adventure, and even self-confidence.You wouldn’t want to ride on an airplane or ship if you knew most of the people responsible for designing and building it lacked personal character, would you? You’d rather ride on a ship built by individuals who are in focus and alert; by individuals who are honest, and value excellence. They would not phrase it so bluntly, especially on their wedding day; but they do believe it, and their actions later on in the marriage are consistent with this belief.If you don’t want to trust your biological life to someone of low integrity — by flying in a plane owned and run, say, by the Mafia, or a group of corrupt politicians — then why would you place your psyche and personal life in the hands of someone who’s morally lacking? My years of experience as a couples therapist overwhelmingly confirms this claim.